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Home :: Arts and Entertainment-Humor

Latest Humor Articles from Ezine Articles

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  1. Small Things - To Halve and to Hold
     Thirty two brussel sprout plants!?" my husband exclaimed? "Thirty two?" Context is important here. I am easily distracted, I cannot turn down a good deal, and I do not do math very well.
     Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:29:10 -0600
  2. Small Things - My Trip in the Garden
     I am equipped with a shovel and something I think is called a trowel, whistling "This is my Father's world" - or as it's now sung in the United Church, "This is God's wondrous world." I am ready to co-create with the Master Gardner - though this wasn't my Plan A. Normally my hubby, Laurence, does the mucking around in the garden, but he's away. I may look like an Earth Mother - but I am quite happy to enjoy nature from a balcony or a flower shop.
     Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:22:48 -0600
  3. Small Things - Glory
     There are so many things I like about living in Sudbury and one of them is that at almost any point in the city, you can be stopped by a 100 plus car train. I'm not kidding - I just plain love the site of a train rolling by. And if it happens to be just a few feet in front of me, accompanied by flashing red lights and clanging bells - so much the better.
     Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:22:12 -0600
  4. "Angry Chicken" Disease Peril to Chicken Soup Industry
     The first suspected case of angry chicken disease in the United States was reported Tuesday and threatens to devastate the country's $98 billion chicken soup industry. A Holstein chicken from a farm in Manhattan was found to have the disease. The Upper West Side breed is known to have a short temper to begin with all chicken farms in the area were put on alert.
     Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:42:58 -0600
  5. World Record Phone Company Stupidity
     With the advent of cell phones, many of us have moved away from the traditional phone companies where we used to get our landline service. If you're like me, you probably had hopes that cellular phone companies would be better to deal with than traditional phone companies. Well, I'm afraid not.
     Mon, 01 Dec 2008 07:45:16 -0600
  6. Top Ten List of Sarcastic Dares
     Sarcastically speaking, I dare you to do some of the things found on my top ten list. Pull into a gas station and use the window washer to wash your entire car.
     Mon, 01 Dec 2008 06:36:58 -0600
  7. New York City is the Center of the Universe
     New York, NY - It was discovered yesterday that New York is, indeed, the center of the Universe. Pooling the resources of the American Astrophysics Association, NASA, and We Are The World (NYC, that is), the four-year study analyzed the gravitational pull of the Universe and other factors.
     Sat, 29 Nov 2008 12:08:53 -0600
  8. Origin of Yo Mama Jokes
     Not many categories of jokes have a history or background. We don't know who started them or why they were started. Surprisingly enough when it comes to yo mama jokes they come with a very interesting background.
     Sat, 29 Nov 2008 11:09:16 -0600
  9. Gag Surprises When You Turn 50
     When you hit 50 I know that you feel old and you feel that everyone else knows more about what is popular. But remember that it is still a time to have fun and accept all of the crazy gag gifts and jokes that are bound to come your way.
     Sat, 29 Nov 2008 11:08:47 -0600
  10. Joke Writing - Anyone Can Write a Joke
     Want to be a successful joke writer? Keep a pen handy and write it down.
     Fri, 28 Nov 2008 10:03:52 -0600
  11. My Personalized License Plate Reads - SLOWPOK
     I've been in the humor business for over 40 years, and I never get enough pleasure in putting a smile on somebody's face! And, I get a double-pleasure when I can put a smile on somebody's face who is disabled, ill, a patient in the hospital or just someone having the blues, etc.
     Fri, 28 Nov 2008 09:48:20 -0600
  12. Five Reasons to Be Thankful For Global Warming
     An attempt to bring some twisted humor into the doom and gloom of global warming. Happy Thanksgiving!
     Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:33:01 -0600
  13. When Are Jokes Considered to Be Offensive?
     Many people love to laugh and joke about things in their everyday life. But what they don't consider when repeating or e-mailing these jokes is that some people may not appreciate them and may even find them to be hurtful.
     Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:10:20 -0600
  14. They Don't Look Expensive
     I know what you want. You want to hear a war story. Here ya go, this is a fun one.
     Wed, 26 Nov 2008 11:43:26 -0600
  15. How to Book a Comedian
     If you are going to book a professional comedian for a corporate event or holiday party there are some things you should know before you start. Use a professional comedy booking agent to help you find the right act for your event. Make sure the act you get has experience with corporate events.
     Wed, 26 Nov 2008 09:16:27 -0600
  16. Jasper Meets the Chestnut Valley Gang
     "Help! Help me, fellahs! It's after me!" Little Eyetie came streaking back around the machine shop and flew, wing footed and white eyed, toward the fence. Chasing him was one of the biggest and blackest mules I had ever seen!
     Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:56:39 -0600
  17. An Interview With the Four Major Candidates
     I wish I could have gotten the four major party candidates for President and vice president on a bass boat in the middle of a lake. It might have gone something like this.
     Tue, 25 Nov 2008 11:33:56 -0600
  18. 10 Rules of Public Etiquette
     We've all seen it before. Someone ventures into a public place without a clue about how to act in front of other people. Have they forgotten that they're not at home anymore? Do they just not realize that nobody should do that? 10 Rules of Public Etiquette outlines some very important rules that, if followed, will really make the world a more civilized place.
     Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:03:20 -0600
  19. The Top Ten Reasons I Hate Wine - Ten, Home Brew
     A humorous examination of the many problems faced by a wine lover who is not a wine snob and has a limited budget. Follow me through the top ten problems and my solution. These articles are best accompanied by a glass (or two) of your favorite red or white wine and some great food.
     Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:41:17 -0600
  20. The Top Ten Reasons I Hate Wine - Nine, Those Colors
     A humorous examination of the many problems faced by a wine lover who is not a wine snob and has a limited budget. Follow me through the top ten problems and my solution. These articles are best accompanied by a glass (or two) of your favorite red or white wine and some great food.
     Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:38:51 -0600
  21. Etiquette's Top Ten
     The following are some common, and disturbing, social faux pas. Do any of them sound familiar? For the sake of improving our society, let's all stop doing these things. Immediately.
     Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:40:10 -0600
  22. Some Simple Travel Etiquette
     Have you ever gone somewhere and been amazed at things that some people will do? Sometimes it's funny, like stopping at a red light and the person next to you is doing some really dramatic kareoke-choreography included. Other times it's so nasty or crazy that you can't believe these people are actually members of society. It's like they were raised by babboons. Here are some basic etiquette rules that really should be laws.
     Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:35:09 -0600
  23. Origin of Yo Mama Jokes
     Not many categories of jokes have a history or background. We don't know who started them or why they were started. Surprisingly enough when it comes to yo mama jokes they come with a very interesting background.
     Mon, 24 Nov 2008 08:04:16 -0600
  24. Housewives Demand For TV Remote Control Custody, Hazard Pay and Minimum Wage
     Housewives held husbands' taken for granted home cook dinner as hostage and demanded the government to pass the bill on TV remote control custody, hazard pay and minimum wage for their role as housewives of this nation. For decades housewives of this nation have been domestically tame and experts say TV shows like America Next Top Husband and Pimp My Waredrobe have awaken the me-me DNA in them. It feels like it was only yesterday when the housewives of this nation discovered supplementary credit cards.
     Sun, 23 Nov 2008 09:27:15 -0600
  25. 7 Year Old Kid Lost One Hour of TV and Playtime
     The school bully is now unemployed with no kids to rib on and no additional lunch money because of the actions of a 7 year old kid. The 7 year kid did not get away unscathed and has lost one hour of TV and playtime. He could no longer see eye to eye with his mother. Due to this irreconcilable differences with his mother, he ran away from home.
     Sun, 23 Nov 2008 09:26:58 -0600
  26. Gag Surprises When You Turn 50
     When you hit 50 I know that you feel old and you feel that everyone else knows more about what is popular. But remember that it is still a time to have fun and accept all of the crazy gag gifts and jokes that are bound to come your way.
     Sat, 22 Nov 2008 16:28:10 -0600
  27. Me, McDonald's, and My Last Twenty Dollars
     If you have ever wasted your last few dollars, done something really stupid, or felt like you weren't getting anywhere in life, then you know what "Me, McDonald's, and My Last Twenty Dollars" is really like. I hope you can laugh and cry about this as much as I do. We all do stupid stuff, but at least there is always a bail out. Somewhere. Somehow. We all find it. I am still looking for mine, but I am sure it is out there. Are there really second chances for idiots? Of course. At one time or another, we are all proof of that! I hope you will take this situation to heart. Learn from my mistakes. Please don't do what I have done.
     Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:43:00 -0600
  28. Loan Sharks Diversified Their Business Model
     With world wide credit crunch taking its toll on established financial institutions; investment bankers like these loan sharks are still persevering. It is high time that established investment banks learn "what they don't teach in ivy league business school" methodologies from their illegal counterpart. Read first hand about Loan Sharking 101: How to diversify and be consumer friendly.
     Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:09:04 -0600
  29. Funny Car Story - I Swear the Post Moved
     The passenger side rear quarter panel had shifted into the back door panel which had shifted into the front door panel which had shifted into the front quarter panel. There was no way I could avoid telling dad what had happened to his car. I went home with my last meal. I was determined not to look like a man on death row.
     Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:06:10 -0600
  30. Poking Gentle Fun With Clever Political T-Shirts
     Sometimes it seems like we're a nation split in two. There is a red half and a blue half, each feeling very strongly that they right and the other side is wrong. Before elections, candidates' signs litter our highways, streets and yards.
     Thu, 20 Nov 2008 11:32:33 -0600
  31. Yellow Tom
     "Check this out, Squirt, Wizzer showed me. "It's got real good roller guides with little tiny ball bearings in them. That's what Red told my dad anyhow." Wizzer spun a roller in one of the guides to show me how it worked.
     Wed, 19 Nov 2008 15:47:37 -0600
  32. Enjoy Political Humor - The Legacy of an Open Society
     George Bernard Shaw once said, "The problem with political jokes is that they get elected." Well, at least there are a lot of material for political humor. Even if the global economy is practically crashing down around everyone, people can always enjoy political humor.
     Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:09:37 -0600
  33. A Party Line Telephone
     I don't remember how the party line worked. I don't know if we had two long rings followed by a short, a short followed by two longs or something else. But I remember what happened when one of the other members of the party line were rang. It was unmistakable. There would be a short but noticeable ring, a partial ring, a blurb. When that happened you knew someone was on the line and there was a tremendous urge to pick up the phone and see who was there, and what they were talking about. I say that only because my wife and a next door neighbor did that.
     Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:38:04 -0600
  34. Funny Cartoons and Reasons For Reading Them
     Cartoons allow us to use emotions to portray opinions in a way that most people can understand. They represent our existence, our life which could be hilarious or more serious.
     Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:15:52 -0600
  35. Funny Cartoons and Collectors
     Cartoon is probably one of the most popular drawings in the world, as well as funny cartoon. Search no more for funny cartoon stories, funny cartoon pictures, and those elusive funny commercials starring cartoon are available all over the world for collecting them.
     Wed, 19 Nov 2008 10:29:56 -0600
  36. Jester Lettermen
     Imagine what it would be like if talk show host, David Lettermen, did his opening monologue at a Medieval Times Dinner. This is what it might sound like...
     Tue, 18 Nov 2008 10:09:21 -0600
  37. Cougasaurus Rex
     Some can know what I'm speaking to here from experience, it's not a mythical beast, they are incarnate and walking among us. Let me start off by declaring that I am not a person to hold double standards, anything you can do that promotes happiness is fantastic as far as I'm concerned, as long as it's not affecting someone else in a negative manner that they have a right to be upset about. I'm all for it! and please do not perceive the term "cougar" as an insult. If anything I'd see it as a compliment.
     Tue, 18 Nov 2008 08:45:09 -0600
  38. 7 Year Old Kid Lost One Hour of TV and Playtime
     The school bully is now unemployed with no kids to rib on and no additional lunch money because of the actions of a 7 year old kid. The 7 year kid did not get away unscathed and has lost one hour of TV and playtime. He could no longer see eye to eye with his mother. Due to this irreconcilable differences with his mother, he ran away from home.
     Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:15:32 -0600
  39. Too Dumb to Use a Toaster
     I was at my job using our microwave. While waiting for my food to cook, I saw the instruction manual for our toaster lying on the counter. Curious, I wondered how many possible instructions there could be for making toast.
     Mon, 17 Nov 2008 09:28:40 -0600
  40. Are the Comedians of Today As Funny As the Comedians of Yesterday?
     Are today's comedians funnier than yesterday's comedians? What are the differences between the two?
     Mon, 17 Nov 2008 07:41:55 -0600
  41. The Sherman Tales - Chapter One - TEFL For the Smart Kids
     "Sherm the Worm does not Squirm" - Act One - Sherman, at eleven years of age, sometimes finds himself backed into a corner by larger, less intelligent children. One day, two bullies trap him on the playground and try to ruffle his feathers. Sherman remains calm.
     Sat, 15 Nov 2008 14:24:34 -0600
  42. Animals Act (Part One) - A Play in Two Parts
     What do animals think about us? Not much, actually. A hamster, a lab rat, and a guinea pig talk about the sorry state of human affairs. They are fed up with what they all agree is an intolerable situation but can't seem to find a solution to the situation.
     Sat, 15 Nov 2008 14:24:00 -0600
  43. Animals Act (Part Two) - A Play in Two Parts
     How do animals think about us? Quite kindly, actually.
     Sat, 15 Nov 2008 14:23:14 -0600
  44. One Story of Cat and Dog Friendship
     JJ was an immense cat. His father was a big Manx, that we nicknamed "refrigerator." After JJ's father died, he became the king of the jungle on our farm. Our Great Pyrenees dogs of course were about as big as any dog gets, but JJ still ruled the small farm we live on.
     Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:28:42 -0600
  45. A Cow in a Tree?
     911 gets lots of calls, but a cow in a tree? Which to remove first, the head from the trap, or the trap from the head?
     Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:16:42 -0600
  46. 5 Ways to Ruin a Good Thanksgiving - When Thanksgiving Dinner Goes Downhill
     Thanksgiving thoughts for 2008. We have the Pilgrims and the Indians to thank for getting this whole mess off the ground. Let's all be thankful we have these 5 ways to ruin a good Thanksgiving tips to enjoy!
     Fri, 14 Nov 2008 11:00:49 -0600
  47. The Gallimaufry - Dumpster Diva
     I'm a Dumpster Diva. There, I've said it. I'm not ready for a 12 Step Program yet, but by the time I reach 90, am widowed, have 45 cats and cannot weave my way to the bathroom for all the junk - maybe I will be.
     Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:20:54 -0600
  48. Too Dumb to Use a Toaster
     I was at my job using our microwave. While waiting for my food to cook, I saw the instruction manual for our toaster lying on the counter. Curious, I wondered how many possible instructions there could be for making toast.
     Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:12:55 -0600
  49. The Ladies Night Expert
     It's Ladies Night, oh what a Night!!! Ladies Night Entertainment Shows or Hen Nights as they are sometimes called are a great way to increase your profits and gain more customers if your a venue.
     Fri, 14 Nov 2008 09:59:05 -0600
  50. A 3-day Travel Tour in LA
     Day 1: Landing at the Los Angeles International Airport at 10 PM. Full body inspection at the Customs for bacteria checkout. 3-hour waiting for luggage delivery and another 3 hours to find the exit gate. Night bus transfer to the hotel with television sets above each sit broadcasting bodybuilding TV shows. Breakfast at the hotel on arrival: two eggs, sourdough toast, coffee or chocolate splash and fresh orange juice. Morning visit of Beverly Hills ghetto on trolley. Regular stops to allow tour participants to take pictures of Brenda's house and Dylan's college.
     Fri, 14 Nov 2008 08:26:28 -0600







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